Why Silkworms Do Not Taste Like Skittles

I ate a bug last night. For real, on purpose. Chewing it up and swallowing. A man with a big hat on a little bicycle tuk tuk came around selling them. The proprietor of the guesthouse bought a small sack of many different varieties and popped handfuls of them down like Skittles. He put them on a small plate and passed them around to a group of us non-bug-eaters. No, I said. I refuse. Imagining the crunchy flesh of a beetle or the leg of grasshopper becoming trapped between my teeth - no. Perhaps it is the crunching that makes the thought of bug eating so repulsive. I have eaten the slippery firmness of an eyeball, the sinewy slickness of a tongue; other organs that I shan't mention here in polite company. But none of them crunched. And friends, I have my limits. The line simply must be drawn somewhere. Eventually, however, I realized that I was in Thailand after all and that I only live once (though what that has to do with anything, I'm not sure). With a sigh of resignation, I wrinkled my nose and chose carefully. The grasshopper? Crunchy with transparent wings? The beetle, toasted with soy sauce? I finally decided on the silkworm, for reasons I cannot explain. It was big. Really big. At least there weren't appendages hanging off that would require crunching or risk the aforementioned fear of becoming lodged between my teeth. The firm shell of the poor little thing barely indented with pressure. I shuddered a few times, braced myself, placed it in my mouth and began chewing as fast as I could. Words cannot describe how it both filled my mouth and completely sucked all moisture out of it. Somehow, the little bugger (heh) expanded. I started jumping around and hollering with my mouth full of partially chewed bug. I couldn't spit it out and I couldn't swallow. I just held it in my mouth, jumping around (me, not the bug) until I could finally wash it down with a healthy swig of beer. Ew.

I've just come from eating banana pancakes. With real syrup. For my fourth morning in a row (correction: I had cinnamon french toast in between) and hilltribe coffee. Every morning I vow to begin eating traditional Thai food for breakfast - soup, noodles, and rice - yet every morning I smell the pancakes at the farang (foreigner) restaurants and think about real maple syrup, and I cave. I actually have my leftover banana pancake sitting beside me in a clear plastic bag, because I couldn't bear to leave it behind.

Met an old Frenchman the other day who works in Java, Indonesia at a school for the deaf and mute and who offered me a job if I can't find anything I want to do here. He might perhaps be crazy, but he understood my French, so we have become friends of sort.

On the advice of Lonely Planet, I headed out yesterday in search of the oldest ruins in Northern Thailand at a placed called Wiam Kum Kum - dating back to the 11th century (and at home we sell WWII era flasks as "antiques"). Five km outside of town, I jumped on the back of a sawthaw (open back truck with 2 benches that serves as a taxi). Because the benches were full, I stood hanging off the back of the truck, squished between three young Thai military guys, who immediately started giggling and poking each other. One finally worked up the courage (after several unintelligible tries) to squeak "Aye lahv yooo!" Ah. The sweet language of love... SO, after a bumpy ride hanging on for dear life and fighting off my would-be suitors, I was dropped off at the nearest village to Wiam Kum Kam and started walking. After awhile, realizing I really had no idea where I was going, I asked a woman hanging laundry, who laughed, promptly put me on the back of her moto and off we went. She dropped me off three km later and I wandered around the ruins and massive temples. It started pouring down rain a few minutes later, so I hung out under a tent with 4 cute Thai women who wanted to know if I would come live with them.

Heading off now to the a nearby mountain, atop of which sits an ancient wat. Apparently you can see all of Chiang Mai and the surrounding towns from the top.